Guest posts

Stay with me!!!

On the blog this evening is an awesome and very relatable piece by MC, live show host, compere, writer and generally weird and witty friend of mine… Ladies, you can’t pass up on this one. Gentlemen, you had better know what the ladies know….enjoy!

 “My experience so far in life has been quite like a football match, not knowing what the outcome would be but knowing that you can enjoy the game while it lasts, play a part in it and also bet on the outcome of a few experiences. But then the story of my life so far is not the reason why I am up at 1:00am writing this article.

In recent times, I have had the opportunity of watching a lot and I mean a lot of wedding movies, I have my roommates to blame for that. I am normally an action movie person, but these days, oh well, weddings have been the main “bane” of my day. This coupled with the fact that I have a well-established make up artist as a close friend “Ellapinkette” so I get to see pictures of her works on brides and their trains especially when they appear on “Bellanaijaweddings”

Now I know every woman’s dream is to one day have kids and live happily ever after without any interference from extended family, but I beg to say that this exists in our fantasies. I have questions, as I have seen only a few happy marriages, and by a few, I mean, I can count on only one hand.

I want to fall in love, get married, have kids of my own etc but what happens when the man I love, father of my kids, stops loving me back. It would be foolhardy to say that love sustains a marriage as statistics have shown that love only carries a marriage as far as its 7th year, and that is best case scenario, and from then on is tolerance.

In one of the movies I was saddled with, the husband met a woman who he was in love with from high school and had lost contact with and trust me, she was hotter, classier, richer than his wife and no sooner than they had met, he started to rethink his marriage. This was a man who converted from Christianity to become a Jew just so that he could win the heart of his wife while they were courting, someone whose wife never nagged, who waited up for him during his late night rendezvous with the other woman without as much as a complaint (by the way, I would never do this, my quick temper, impatience and love for sleep won’t let me), she was a total darling and all he could pay her back with was asking for a divorce. Imagine the pain I felt watching this movie, of course I know it isn’t real and it is only worse in real life with best case scenario being that the moment a man starts keeping late nights, the woman starts nagging because she knows something is wrong but she just can’t quite put finger on it and then ends up pushing him away the more, or worst case scenario being that the man beats his wife on countless occassions and parades the mistress on her face.

Bring it down to the dating level, on a daily basis, we meet guys who want us for reasons best known to them, some, we are able to detect are players, others, we fall head over heels in love with. I have had a guy leave me because of a new girl he met, I mean, this is someone with whom I went through a lot, who I did a whole lot for, someone who was supposed to be a backbone in times of crisis, someone I could give an eye for if asked to, but no, he met someone new and off he went, to make matters worse I found out later that he was asking out a friend of mine while we were together. You can’t begin to imagine the agony I went through. Let’s say my case is not strong enough, I know this girl who dated this guy for 8 solid years. Not 1, not 2, not 3, 8 and the guy left her and went on to this new girl who is not half as classy as his old girlfriend was. I can hear you say, it might have been the girl’s fault but I know this guy cheated on her while they were together even though everyone overlooked it because they felt she was the “iyawo” and we made sure to never tell her about it. But then it was on one of such flings that he met this new girl who he left the “iyawo” for. She stood by him when the goings were tough, she met him when they were both nobodies, she saw him through the hustle, and when he was made, he dumped her, just like that. This girl is still struggling to get over it.

I have to ask what the problem is. What is it with guys and why can’t they just stay with one woman who is giving her all and who they have at one point claimed to love. Of course we have our flaws, mine being that I don’t trust any man on earth’s surface but I know to give my man the benefit of doubt and not to listen to hearsay and to give him a 2nd and a 3rd and a 4th and a 5th chance if he “fucks” up, at least I would have tried.

We definitely won’t cheat on you guys, we have given up a lot of seemingly better guys out there, just to be with you and believe me you are worth it, so don’t put us through the stress of having to even worry about if you are with someone else. And to married men, please remember when you first met her and how you promised your all and know that she said yes to you not just because she loves you, but because she needs you and you leaving her would break her.”


MC/Compere, Live show host, Writer
Love Blessing(and I) by dropping your comments down below! Thank you! 😊 😀


  • eddie

    There’s really no conclusive method or way to tell the serious men from the phoney ones . Like wise with women. But I always say …being in love is like standing in front of a loaded gun and praying your lover doesn’t pull the trigger. It’s a choice. Do not love and be lonely or love and stand the chance to either be hurt or happy.

  • Blessing E. Iyamadiken

    Thank you eddie for taking time to read and dropping a comment. While i agree with you, i also think love is not enough.That is why it is important to end up with your friend, that way it would be hard for things to go south in your relationship. Ella, i have being in love maybe twice, and from where i am standing right now, i think i am better off without it.

  • Glory

    Properly said @ Blessing. Currently i have a guy and we have been together for 4 years now,He’s working and i’m also working but as a lady we know we want more than dating at least to settle down with the guy you have known like forever ,but when asked if he has any plans of settling down with you he says ” No” and if asked why he’ll say he has important things he wants to achieve first.
    My question now is as a lady, ” How long can you wait for him”?

  • Blessing E. Iyamadiken

    Hmmm…@Glory …i think i
    understand you. First you have to
    evaluate your relationship, are you
    sure he really loves you and is not
    just leading you on. Then you need
    to ask him what these goals he
    wants to achieve are, be interested
    in it and see if you guys can work
    out a plan towards it. These goals
    have to be realistic by the way,
    then you have to drop little signs
    that will tell him that you are not
    getting any younger because truth
    be told time waits for no man…and
    with these guys, the earlier the
    better. I cant really say much here
    but feel free to mail me if you
    want to discuss this further.

  • Paul marcus

    U have said well blessing.. I have one question… Why would a girl date a guy for close to 8yrs? What on earth are courting for? In my opinion, I don’t think it’s ryt..

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