Hey good people. It’s the D-day. And I have a post. No it isn’t on a Valentine’s Day makeup look or collab or outfit or any of those things we have been seeing everywhere. It has been totally unavoidable. And I mean, what difference would mine make among the thousand makeup looks that tell you how seasoned makeup artists do their makeup. Many times, we try to recreate the look and end up looking like…oh well. No. This post is about love. But not the type we are used to. It’s about unconditional selfless love. Sacrificial in its ordinary way. When I read this, it went through my soul. My life changed. And though it was written with me in mind, I read it as though it was for a third party that I was learning from.
I was somebody’s real life Saint and I don’t know a love between human beings greater than that. We can only learn from the love of God.
A LOVE LIKE OURS…When I was asked to write this article, I was actually a little scared, not just because I was not exactly in love with anybody but also because this is almost like giving the world a peek into my personal life, and I didn’t really know where to start from.
I have been in love but mostly I have had my love thrown back in my face, or gotten disrespected because of it and I think the only time I felt like I was loved back by any guy, was with my first love Joshua(I remember stealing from my dad because of this boy..lol), but then, we were kids, so it can easily be waved away.
Hence I am neither going to be writing about Joshua, nor about the silly guys that have been in my life, but about someone whose love I am not sure I deserve, someone whose love has saved my life so many times.
I met her during my diploma days at the University of Lagos, through a friend, Ife. He would not stop talking about her so I was really anxious to meet this girl, only for me to meet her and dislike her for reasons I still don’t understand. Did I say dislike? It was more than that. And funny enough she didn’t exactly fancy me too. The only reason why I used to manage to talk to her was because she was friends with my friends and if you know me well, you would know that I do not allow my feelings for someone disturb my interaction with them. I thought she was proud and all, but now I think that was just because I had a natural beef for QC (Queens College) girls.
Well, throughout diploma, we managed not to get on each other’s nerves and we crossed to idi-araba. We were anticipating the hostel list, nobody submitted with me because then I wasn’t exactly the friendly type and trust me, I would not beg, I am proud like that. Then the list came out and I found out that she was my roommate. I wanted to faint. I was like “wtf”.
We became roommates, but we still weren’t friends, we just tolerated each other. I had just become a registered photography model and I was also learning to walk. She was into runway, photography modelling and others because of her height. We had so many issues, trust me, but I think when we first truly bonded was when she was competing for Miss Radiography. I more than anything wanted her to win. We had become very close especially when we realized that our families were alike. At the end of our stay at Radiography, we wanted to be roommates again and we applied together.
Fate had other plans though. We didn’t get a room together and we had to re-do the year, I, she and her closest friend Elsie. That period, we went through hell, words fail me in describing what that period was like for us. But we were strong, she “kinda” became my 6th roommate, because she was always at my room. Elsie was still staying at Radiography, so it was just her and me. I found my passion, presenting and writing and she found hers, make up. But we were repeating so we couldn’t do so much, we planned each other’s time and I don’t think she ever went for a job without telling me.
When the results were released at the end of the day, and she crossed and I was left behind, that was the test of our friendship. The amount of tears we shed that night cannot be quantified. There were nights when I would be walking round school alone and she would look for me and join me not because she liked walking but because she didn’t want me to be alone. I remember the day she came straight to my room from class crying about a remark someone had made about us. It was painful. They had told her to choose her friends wisely now, and not people like I and Elsie because we had not crossed. I cried my eyes out that day and that was just one of the very many things people said to her. I tried to keep my distance because it was obvious our lives had different routes to tow now, but she sought me out. I enrolled in a business academy, for a one month crash course in business planning, just to pass the time and she was very supportive, this was same thing I told someone else who laughed at me and told me I was wasting my time. She even asked me to give her a business design template which I have been too lazy to put together till now *covers face*.
I needed money for something quite important to me, the closing date was the next day and I had asked everybody I trusted for money, even people I worked for, but nobody would give me the loan. I didn’t ask her because I knew she didn’t have much. I just ended up at her room crying that night, and when she found out the reason for my tears, she was angry I didn’t tell her earlier and she gave me her school fees. I mean school fees payment was also ending in a couple of days and that was what she was giving to me and she had nothing left on her, just feeding money for the next couple of days. That night I cried because I knew I didn’t deserve this love. It was too much to bear. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I could do that for someone. Somehow, we both hustled the money and paid her school fees before the deadline. It was just God.
I cannot tell you how many times her words of encouragement saved my life. I had decided to end it all one night, but by coincidence, and without knowing, that same night she saw me, and she spoke to me and that gave me a little reason to hope. I would take one look at her and ask myself if I was insane. Like, what exactly was I thinking? Why would I even think of making her shed tears over me? It would be pure wickedness!
She was my source of strength throughout the period. If I ever felt alone, I only needed to turn around and she would be there.
And I can’t tell you how much she inspires me. She inspired me to start my blog, and when someone met me on a bus and asked if I was Blessing and went on to say he was an avid reader of my blog, I couldn’t help thinking about her and how she practically forced me to start. Even her relationship is relationship goals for me.
I can go on and on….
If she is reading this, I want her to know that:
For being there for me, I love you.
For those days when you would see me around RMO from topmost floor block 5 and still scream my name, I love you, I still get surprised that someone loves me enough to shout my name happily from afar.
For those nights, you kept me company on my long walks, I love you.
For having your tissue handy, to clean both our tears I love you.
For that day you took the pains to come to the football pitch to warn me about something that was going to happen, I love you.
For holding my hands and assuring me consistently that everything was going to be fine, I love you.
For being my support when people I thought I loved stabbed me happily, I love you.
And I am sorry…
…For making you take all the blame for something that wasn’t your fault, you were just trying to help and those criminals deserve to be put behind bars.
…For that day I made you go home without money even when I obviously had enough to give you. I was selfish and I didn’t understand fully.
…For every time I shout at you over something, I am sorry, I can’t help my temper at times and you know I love you.
People speak of how God sends helpers and I can say you were “sent from heaven” to me. You have changed me a whole lot. I am a better person because of you.
Every time I come to LUTH and it seems like I am leaving in a hurry, it is not because I am anxious to leave you but because I don’t want you to see the tears about to fall from my eyes, because I feel so much pain.
Eze Linda Luella Amaka …. I love the hell out of you, I would take a bullet for you, I like you and every day I like you more than yesterday. Thank you for showing me that water can be as thick as blood, thank you for being there, thank you for teaching me to be patient a little bit. I used to be an angry person, angry at no one in particular, but your love changed all of that. Thank you for making me change my view about life. Yes, maybe I had friends but I never really valued friendships till I met you, and thank you for dragging me to the Catholic Church, I enjoyed myself all through.
I know that the only constant thing in life is change but I pray that nothing ever changes the way I feel about you. And even if that happens, this much I can promise you; No wrong will my mouth ever speak about you, No harm will my hands ever cause you, No evil thoughts would I ever think towards you.
Pinkette nwa mama…God will bless you and your generations for me.
BLESSING IYAMADIKEN www.theblessingiyama.com
Original post on thoughtsofamedstudent.com